Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday Evening Thoughts

This weekend has taken me for quite a ride. I got in touch with a lot about myself, a lot that needs to grow. Parts of me that have shriveled up, parts that I realized I need strong and juicy in order to live life to the fullest, or live it at any level deeper than mere surface living. And who wants to live on the surface alone, I ask you? I heard an amazing teacher today at Lifechurch and one of the things she said that struck me was that our generation is lost because perhaps they were just preoccupied. She used the example of the lost sheep and talked about how that wasn't an evil sheep, or an especially naughty sheep, it just got caught up in sheeply things and didn't hear the shepherd's call. I feel like I have been overly caught up in sheeply things. Necessary sheeply things, but I put far too much emphasis in excelling in the basics. So yesterday I felt the shepherds crook around my neck yanking, but my little hooves seemed grounded in no mans land. The pulling and not moving action hurts, as you can imagine it would. It's this incompatibility, this fear that comes from realizing that you are here but knowing your heart you were called to be over there. So here I am moving a nervous hoof at a time toward where the shepherd wants me to go.

In the nonsheeply realm of life I am pretty happy, I love being a Mom. My heart for this little girl just gets bigger every day, to the point I am worried I will wake up one morning and see her grinning at me and it will explode completely. I suppose this is a risk that all Mothers take. In the exciting news bulletin side of things I am going home to Michigan on Thursday for a visit. I can't wait. I am leaving Kel behind which I don't love. I simply don't enjoy experiencing life without him. I like segments of life lived on my own so I have something to tell him about, I think we all need this if nothing else for dinner conversation, but large chunks of separation aren't my fav. But it's a good thing, all put together.

I am about blogged out but am on my way to read what you have been writing. Also I started a food blog, surely it's linked somehow to this one... you'll figure it out.
With Love
Leanne Rae
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