Monday, May 4, 2009

Threads of love

I got a very special package today from some very dear friends back home. A garlic press, which is amazingly welcome in our house, and a handmade blanket. I smiled at the garlic press because I this of Kellye O every time I think of a garlic press so it's fitting that there should be a garlic press in our home from her. I draped the blanket over my (seemingly huge) tummy and told our daughter that someone loves her so much to use their hands to make this for her. And that;s just one of the reasons why Amber is a wonderful perosn. It just makes me feel like no matter where God takes our family the threads of love from our past are still interwoven into our present. I am starting to feel at home here more and more. Or at least at peace here, happy. But home is still home in a sense. If this makes any sense.

I have spent the last week or so of my life coming to terms with our sideways daughter and analyzing what this might say about who she is. Is she going to be difficult? Can I still feel like the mom I want to be with a c-section? An C-section was never what I wanted but if it can't be avoided I have to come to peace with it. And all the other unknowns that are flying around my head right now. I am praying for my faith to grow, to become more solid. There is so much at stake to be and to teach and learn. Bring it? Yeah... bring it on.

1 comment:

Melanie said...

I have faith that she'll turn but even if she doesn't don't feel guilty about a csection. That's what they're there for, to safely deliver your baby when the norm is too dangerous or impossible. C sections get a bad name because of the too posh to push crowd but really they have there place and if Bebe doesn't turn I will thank God that they exist so that she can be born safely and you'll be okay.

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