Well here I am in Michigan. I am enjoying a cup of coffee in a hoodie with the slider door open. The morning is nice and crisp and I am in my element. I am centered and there are so many paths I could go down today. The most likely of which is to the mall and lunch with my best friend Becky. I even have spending money in the budget. Wonderful eh?
The trip is going really well so far and I am just taking deep breaths and not letting my Mom or family get to me too much in a negative way. So my Moms house is messy and yes there is usually rotten food in the fridge but I've had multiple freak outs about it and it never does any good really. So might as well just deal with it and throw out the moldy hot dogs at the back by the 3rd jar of grape jelly and stop trying to figure out why my Mother and I are so drastically un alike.
It has been so good to see family and to make plans to share meals with people we love and watch them hold our baby and enjoy her simple beauty. Although after nine months of carrying her, perhaps her beauty is crazy complicated? I love her more and more each day. She is so laid back! She cries when she is hungry or has a dirty diaper or the two times I accidentally pinched her a bit with the car seat buckle. (For which I felt like the worst mom ever...) When we eat dinner she just sits and looks at us and at the lights above the table. Like she's part of the dinner conversation only she talks with her eyes and not her vocal chords... yet!
This town still feels like me, like I belong here. Don't get my wrong because Ada is better than I can imagine and the people that live there are a gift in my life. But when I drive these roads and pull into these parking spots and walk these streets and eat this food and have these conversations... I feel so safe, so unquestionable. No one could say I don't belong, no one can tear me down here, I am a fortress in Michigan, I am supported by so many people who love me so much. This feeling, this sense of belonging, it's so strong. Time and miles struggle to take it away. Will we end up here someday? I don't dare venture an opinion. For now I can tell you with a million percent assurance that Ada is where we live, and undoubtedly where we need to be living. And that my friends is enough for today.
1 comment:
I have that safe feeling every time I go back to Burlington in Ontario. There is something so comforting about the familiarity. I'm sure we can both agree that it is so nice to have family in our "home towns"- so there is always a reason to go back. :)
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