Friday, April 15, 2011

Moving On

Good morning from my office, I write again with coffee as my companion and french toast as my muse. Not really, but I did just make the most amazing french toast which had pumpkin in the batter and a sprinkling of flax seed meal on top. It was good, all you who say I don't like healthy crap would have tucked in with relish. I feel my soul waking back up again today, maybe it is spring or just the passing of time, who really cares? I am glad to be feeling some depth in my insides again. I felt shallow and apathetic. Not a whole lot has brought me either extreme joy or extreme sorrow. I've been numb and boring. I was even given an iPad and that failed to excite me. Whoa, I know. I'll give you a moment to let that soak in.

Thanks to Sheridan for yesterday's comment, Philippians 3 has spoken to me yet again. Here is a story from my past. I remember a few days after my Dad's funeral, during the coldest bleakest March of my life, someone asking me what was next now that my Dad was gone and the funeral was behind me. I remember the conversation like this:

Person: "So, what now? are you just gonna.... keep going?"
Me: "Yeah... wait, is there really another option?"

I don't know who this person was but I remember this moment distinctly because it set the tone for the last six years of my life. Grieve, heal, keep moving. Grieve, heal, keep moving. You absolutely don't have to have lost a parent tragically to invest in this. Life is full of griefs, physical pain, emotional pain, but you have to... you HAVE TO keep moving on. When you experience a physical injury you have to go through therapy to get the affected muscles to regain strength. I consider emotional and mental injury in much the same light, you have to heal and rehab that part of you if you want to experience a fully functioning self. Maybe for you that's actual therapy, if so. Go to therapy. I go, I have no shame. I love me some counseling and therapy, I equate it to a massage for my soul.

There is another option though. You can stay wounded, stagnant and hurt. You can live in your pain forever. It's a legitimate choice, although not a very good one. You end up wasting the time God gave you and choosing to suck the joy out of your life. You also steal beautiful memories from those around you. I don't write this as one who has experienced a lack of pain in their life. I have hurt and my hurts have screwed me up  but mostly they have made me stronger. On the dealing with grief front, I am probably a body builder, and that's cool, it's given me the ability to be the personal trainer for the newbies. I may be a little bit like a Jillian Michaels though. I will absolutely mourn with someone, but if I love you, I want to help you grieve, heal, move on.  But unlike Jillian, I'll try not to yell and cuss at you though, at least not to your face.

I have seen this stagnant other side, the grieve and stay there side of it. And it leads to death on every level. I promise. Go here: http://www.youversion.com/ and read Philippians 3. Paul knew, he was put through it all he had physical pain and watched his friends die brutally. But so often he said things like. "I press on" "I run the race" He had a mission and a goal. He didn't carry around the baggage from his beatings and losses, he kept moving, literally, and because he did we can talk about this passage of scripture. We are majorly blessed from his perseverance.

Wherever you are today, my heart is there for you. If you are grieving with a fresh raw wound I want to encourage you to feel what you need to feel. Cry, scream, hit pillows, experience your situation. If you have scabby wounds and you keep picking them, I want to encourage to let them heal. Wherever you are, you are on this earth today with a precious gift, you have today. So take a step forward. Heal, move on. Dodge and move. Oh, and while you're moving God will put someone in your path who needs you to help them get up and move. That's how he works, it's like we are all on a hill holding hands, someone above us pulling us up, as we hold the hand of someone behind us, pulling them along.

I'll leave you with a little Paul. "Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal... there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ,who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him." Alright, lets go do today. Go team.

1 comment:

Sheridan said...

Thanks for the post. Chris actually got asked today by our tree guy if there was something we were holding back from God that could be causing my auto immune disease. Wow, what a sad view he has of suffering. How will he cope if his wife gets cancer or he loses his little girl? Will he think God is punishing him?

After three years I am just now learning to cope with my affliction. I am constantly being asked if I have cancer. This bothers most with alopecia because people are so nosy, but it doesn't bother me. Usually people ask because they or a close family member are battling cancer. I always explain that I am grateful that I do not. However, this week God opened a door for me to be able to pray for a Wal-Mart associate whose mom is battling cancer. Right in the store! For one single moment I was actually grateful for my alopecia. Now, if I could only get that to become a lifestyle...

Cling to the Scriptures, girl, and don't believe the false teaching! It's meant to make you feel good, but ultimately it only brings about doubt and an unhealthy fear of God.

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