Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Wide View

For the last week I have been enjoying and exploring all that is the Salt Lake City area of Utah. I went to visit my good friend Jenni and her family. I had a fabulous trip and Utah offers everything I need in a city. Noelle expended her boundless energy at the aquarium, the children's museum, the farm at Thanksgiving Point and build a bear workshop. As for me, I bought $13 of pretentious cheese at the very foodie friendly Pirate O's and got to try a Crown Burger. This is a delicious meaty burger topped with a heap of extra-meaty pastrami, and I declare it to be delicious. Also the entire city is surrounded by majestic snow capped mountains, it's like a city that God made just for me. There was only one, make that two, small issues with my time in Salt Lake City. The day before I left I got food poisoning, and while I was there I developed two separate infections complete with fevers and more antibiotics. I have been sick more this year than any other year in my life, and it's only May. I have had to swim hard to stay above the water, and fight even harder to keep a somewhat positive attitude.

Last week I was playing with Noelle in Utah and starting to jump into the cycle of self pity. But as I stared at the mountains a single phrase popped into my head, "keep a wide view." In this moment I felt close to God, mostly because in my head the mountains are closer to God than just any ol spot, but the concept of a wide view felt so spiritual and refreshing to me. Yeah, I have been sick a ridiculous amount this year, and yeah I am still coming out of some really deep personal loss, but you know what? I choose a wide view. Twenty years from now this year will just be a portion of my life, a season, a small part of the awesome picture God is painting with my time on this earth. In the middle of the pain and the doctor's visits and the frustration, if I can remember to keep a wide view, big picture attitude, I will survive and thrive in the worst circumstances. Someday my life will be a story to be told by those that remember it, and this will be a chapter in a book that I hope impacts this world in a very unique way.

I am still dealing with the loss of my Mom and I am beyond tired of fighting infections, but this will pass and I will feel healthy and strong again, I can feel it. Life holds too much beauty to focus on momentary issues.

I choose the wide view.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Leanne-thanks for sharing! You are such a great writer! Very gifted indeed! I sure miss you on so many levels! We hope to see you back at ATS this year sometime (and that darling family of yours!). God's got a firm grip on you, and you are hanging on...you go girl!!!

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