Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Saltine Diet

I feel like I have been hungry for a long time. I've been starving really, like the kind of hungry where you are ready to tuck in to a holiday feast, with pie and appetizers. This hunger hasn't been for food, although I do love food don't get me wrong.

I've been hungry to connect with people, with friends, with family. I want a good long meal filled with good food, laughter, and that comfortable feeling you have when you can be totally safe with someone. Where you're not fearing judgment because you know you are safe, loved, and known. However most of my communication these days comes from texts, tweets, and e-messages in various forms. These feel like saltines for my hungry soul. When you are so hungry you are about to eat your own arm and someone hands you one saltine it's a joke! You are thankful for a little something to chew on, but you need a whole lot more than this one little saltine. It won't last.

Does anyone else feel like our techy forms of connection aren't cutting it? Does anyone else long to have a good deep belly laugh instead of a twitter-inspired chuckle? Does anyone else want to eat pot roast together rather than take out alone over their iPhone? Is it just me or does anyone else feel like we are missing out on the connection God really had for us because face to face is so much more than pictures on a screen. The mountain view of the actual mountains can not be captured in a screen shot.

This whole year God has been calling me to something deeper. To something more satisfying. So I am going to throw some more dinner parties and try to get some more play dates. I am going to open up my home to friends in the hopes that they want to connect as much as I do.

This isn't whining, or a guilt trip to you the reader. It's a manifesto, a mini or maxi revolution. I don't want to leave this earth not knowing those I love as fully as I can. I want to be known, to open up my closed off heart and be vulnerable. I want more connection with real friends and less casual contact with acquaintances.

So many poets have written about drinking deeply of this life. I am certain I am not alone in this world or in this time. Lonely is a human condition, we aren't in the garden with our Lord anymore, there is this rift which isn't healed yet. He is the only one who knows us fully and we aren't in face to face relationship with him right now. However he lives in each of us, so lets connect with each other and get as close as we can.

Go team.


Josiah said...

Oh, Leanne! I feel the same! I'm here- for non-judging unconditional love... and pot roast and play dates anyday!

The White Family said...

I totally agree girl! I lament that I live so far away from you and can't sit down to enjoy coffee with you friend. I find myself feeling much like you do lately. Friendships are hard to make in your late 20s/ early 30s I've found. Makes me miss you more!