Monday, August 22, 2011

My prayer for now

We are always changing and growing as God calls us onward in this life.  All too often I will come face to face with a glimpse of where God is leading me and it infuses life into my weary heart.  Unfortunately the glimpse fades too quickly and within the next few days the wisdom I saw all but disappears.  God is constantly discipling me along the road and I am always on the watch for new devices or systems to keep these lessons at the front of my mind.  I tape verses and quotes on my bathroom mirror and the window above my sink.  I re-tweet relevant thoughts from teachers I respect and admire.  This all helps, but today I feel led to write a prayer, something I can change up and add to as I progress.  A personal prayer for me to repeat often to remind me where I am and where I am going, my own little litany.

So I have been jotting down notes and thoughts in my phone and on a plain legal pad and this is my "for-now" prayer.

Dear Father
You are so faithful and I am amazed at your relentless pursuit of us, me especially. 
When I take a look around my life I am amazed from the depths of my soul at the extravagant way you have blessed me.
There are no words in the English language to express how thankful I am for the gifts of my family, Kel and our two kids.  Their faces bring me a powerful joy I didn't knew existed this side of heaven.
When I look back on the journey you have taken Kel and I on, I can only shake my head and be thankful.  I ask that you strengthen and shape us into people who bring heaven to earth, both individually and together.

So often I feel small and incapable of navigating the life you put me in.  I want to be obedient to the amazing plans you have ahead of me, grant me more resolve and courage to believe myself capable of your call.
Remind me every hour that you don't need another carbon copy of anyone I compare myself to.  Strengthen me with the truth that I am uniquely equipped with a story and voice that can change the world, but only if I use it.
Banish the fear that so often keeps me from following your voice.
Help me trust what can be and not doubt because of what has been.
Help me trust and not be cynical.

I want to serve those you have placed in my life, people are a gift.  Through your spirit I want to serve them fiercely and put them before myself.
Teach me to be more of a listener than a talker and more of an encourager than one who demands praise and encouragement.  
I want to be generous in the way I give my resources to others, from my time to my money it is all yours and I want to spread it out and not waste it.

I want to be in love with today, even if it isn't ideal or where I thought I would find myself as I approach my thirtieth birthday.  
Continue to help me find delight in the small things from my morning cup of coffee to my fluffy duvet as I turn out the light.  I want to choose joy in the here and now, no matter what that means. 
Never stop calling me to connect well and deeply as I seek to push aside distractions and give my full attention to my family and friends.

Give me patience as I slow to the rhythm of your timing.  Help me to live today to the fullest as I move at your pace around each turn.

Help me to know Jesus more today than I did yesterday, to immerse myself in his way of living and to conform to his patterns.

Thank you for the wisdom that it took to meet in this moment and speak this prayer over the day you have so generously given me.

I'm ready.  Amen.

If you even feel a little called to write your own prayer "for now" I can't tell you what a valuable practice it is.  I am so thankful I have it out of my heart and onto paper, ready to be prayed this afternoon, evening and tomorrow morning over yet another 5:45 am mug of coffee.  

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